Saying Goodbye

During my childhood, nobody ever really told me exactly what a Grandfather was. In class, they told me that a grandfather was the father of my mother or father. But beyond that, no teacher ever really told me exactly what role my Grandfather should play in my life or what he should mean to me. So I developed my own conception of what a Grandfather was, based on the Grandfathers that I saw in books, television shows, and movies. And I found out that according to American books, television shows, and movies, Grandfathers are the men who have grey hair, sit by the fireplace, tell long stories, and occasionally ask you to pull on their finger. My grandfather was none of these things. My grandfather was an entirely different kind of grandfather. And he was so much better in so many ways. He wasn’t the type of Grandpa who would sit by the fireplace, tell long stories, and never did he ask me to pull on his finger. Instead, he was the type of Grandfather who would take long walks with me throughout his neighborhood, showing me his Korea – his nation that he had served throughout his life in the Army, and the nation that he loved. I remember that it was during one of these walks that he showed me for the first time the Moo-Goong-Hwa, the national Korean flower and explained to me its significance with pride as he plucked one, and gently set it behind my ear. We must have been an odd sight as we walked through the streets of Korea together. He was a wise old man with few words who walked with a slow and stately pace. I was a little girl who talked far too much and bounced up and down as I walked, pointing out everything I saw. But he listened to everything I had to say and answered my numerous questions with the greatest patience in the world. I see now that these walks were my Grandfather’s way of not only showing me how much he loved me, but also his way of instilling in me wisdom and a sense of who I was and where I came from.

And when he got too old to walk with me, we would sit and watch TV together. And that was enough to make me the happiest little girl in the world, because I could see even during those times just how much he loved me by the way that the corners of his mouth turned up whenever I caught him looking at me. And he would laugh. He had an unforgettable, hearty laugh that was always accompanied by a special twinkle in his eye.

My grandfather was many things to many people during his life: he was an Army captain, and a loving father and husband. According to everyone I spoke with, he was also a good looking man with the most handsome ears in all of Korea. To me, he was the only Grandfather I had ever known. He is the man who taught me early on the importance of patience and the value in a genuine smile. He is the man who taught me how to love silently. He is the man that I will forever remember every time I see a Moo-Goong-Hwa flower or hear a hearty laugh. And he is the man that I will daily look forward to seeing once again one day in heaven.

I love you, Grandpa, and I miss you so much.